Letting Go of Mom Guilt

 

Mom guilt. Every mom I know deals with it on some level or another. Here is a secret that I have recently discovered surrounding mom guilt... The more "mommy articles" that get fed to me through Facebook and other social media, the worse the mom guilt gets.

Did you know that every article you read online isn't always right? Wow, that is a shocker isn't it!! Even if it contains solid advice, it doesn't mean that what you are doing is wrong! Those posts with numbered lists are the worst ones in my opinion for fueling the mom guilt we already struggle enough to get past.

Today I read an article that was called "7 things your child should know how to do before they turn 13". Well now, that is an article worth reading since I have a 13 year old who will actually be 14 here in a couple of weeks. No friends... that was a trap! A judgement trap. As I read this article, my mind immediately started comparing my 13 year old to this online list. Some of the things he knows how to do and does, some of them he doesn't. That immediately made me start judging myself and thinking that I haven't taught him enough in life.

And then reality hit... who is to say what he needs to know by the time he is 13? I am pretty sure that is my job as his mom and not the job of some random person out in cyberspace to tell me how much my child is lacking. He knows a lot and he can fend for himself when necessary. He can do his own laundry and cook basic meals. He may not mow the lawn or do major projects around the house, but he is 13! He isn't the adult in the house. He has chores and he has responsibilities. He is a well rounded kid.

We don't have to buy into this type of mom guilt! There are plenty of legitimate reasons to question ourselves as moms, we don't need an internet article to make us question even more!!

So, next time you see an article titled, "10 things your toddler should master before their 3rd birthday" do yourself a favor and just skip reading it!! I mean, we all know that our babies grow and learn at exactly the same pace, right? We did know that didn't we? Oh wait... no... our babies are human beings! They are each unique and no two babies are exactly alike! They don't grow teeth at the same pace or eat new foods at the same pace. They don't learn to use the potty at the same time (ask me about this week's potty training story if you want to know what we are currently facing in our home... you will laugh... I didn't, but you will!!) or learn to speak at the same pace. They are their own unique person and that is MORE THAN OK!! Celebrate your babies for who God made them to be!! Love them for who they are!!

When you are finished loving on them, love yourself too for the fantastic mom that you are!! From one mom to another... You are loved, you are beautiful, and you are an absolutely AMAZING mom to your babies!! You feed them, you clothe them, you love them, you educate them... you my friend are ROCKING this mom thing!!

Triplex Day 1

Today is day one of my Plexus Journey!! There were only two times prior to today that I have taken any Plexus products. Once was when I had a really bad headache and a coworker of mine offered me pack of her Plexus Slim to try to see if it helped. The other time, I participated in a Plexus Facebook party and won a 3 day sample of Triplex. I say that to say that while I have had some exposure to Plexus in the past, I have never committed to taking their products long term until now.

Since it is only day one, I can't tell a whole lot so far. I have been really tired today, but I don't think that is because of the Plexus. I don't get a lot of sleep most nights and all my nights of little sleep are catching up to me!!

Since I just started taking these supplements, instead of talking about changes in me (that aren't there now but will definitely come in time) I wanted to just share with you what products are in the Triplex and how I am going to be taking them. I will also include links to them on the website so you can see the labels and everything that is in them.

First up is the Plexus Slim "Pink Drink". The package directions say to take this up to twice a day 30-60 minutes before a meal. It comes in a small drink mix packet. You just tear it open and mix it with a bottle of water! Super EASY!!

The taste is good! It definitely isn't hard to drink. It is a raspberry, lemon, watermelon flavor combination. Not too shabby at all!!

For now, I am just going to drink this once a day. I am drinking this first thing in the morning before breakfast. (Although, in the spirit of honesty, I rarely actually eat breakfast anyway)!

The next part of the Triplex is the Bio Cleanse. This product is supposed to help clean out your intestinal tract. It is a mild detox and cleanse supplement designed to reduce gas, bloating and discomfort and help promote regularity.

The package directions say to take 2 of these supplements twice a day in between meals. I took one dose at 10 AM and will take the other one around 3 PM.

ProBio 5 is the last of the three products in the Triplex Combo. It is designed to help restore balance to your gut! It is a probiotic and is supposed to be taken either with a meal or at bedtime.

Since I haven't taken this yet, I can't give much feedback on it today, but I will take it when I go to bed tonight.

The last part of this equation is water, water, and way more water!! Ha!! This will be a challenge for me but so far I have had about 64 ounces today! That is still not enough, but it is far more than I normally drink.


The Journey has only begun for me and I really am excited to see some change from the inside out!!

The Giving End of Grace

Grace is one of the greatest gifts a person can receive whether that grace comes from God or from another human being. The idea of grace is appealing to all of us and it should be! No matter how close we are to the Lord, we are all imperfect humans who occasionally mess up. Some of us mess up more often than others, but none of us are perfect. That is where grace and forgiveness come into the picture.

We love the idea of grace and forgiveness when we are on the receiving end, but how do we feel about it when we are the one who needs to extend it to someone else. When it is our turn to forgive and extend grace to another, how excited do we get? For some people maybe it depends… on the circumstances, on the level of offense, on the hurt you feel, or on any other number of factors.

How often do we determine our willingness to extend grace based on “how bad” the offense was of the person we need to extend grace to? I would venture to say, at least initially, that it factors into our thought process nearly every time we are faced with the decision. That is our human nature I suppose. We somehow think that in order to extend grace the other person has to earn it, or show remorse, or change. But that isn’t what grace is at all.

Grace according to the dictionary is an unmerited, undeserved, act of kindness, courtesy, or clemency. Clemency gets into the legal realm… the only people who request clemency are people who have been found guilty and sentenced. Prisoners on death row are sometimes granted clemency by the Governor and spared their life. Ya’ll… this grace thing isn’t for perfect people; it is for imperfect, guilty people.

Grace and forgiveness are a blessing to the receiver, but it is also freedom for the giver! Extending grace does not mean excusing behavior. It doesn’t mean that you continue to put yourself in a position where someone can continue to hurt you. It doesn’t mean that you don’t expect better in the future. But what it does do is it removes the weight and burden from the giver. What the receiver of grace does isn’t the issue… what giving grace does for the giver is.

Let’s get really honest for a minute though. Most of us don’t hesitate to extend grace because we want to be bitter or hold onto the past. Most of us just want a better tomorrow. We want things to be different. We want things to change. We want the other person to learn and grown and be different in the future. We think that we need to see the change before we can give the grace. That is nice when that can happen, but in all honesty, that probably won’t be your reality.

I read an article online today where the writer said, “Shame didn’t teach me. Grace did. And I didn’t learn grace by hearing about it, but by being the recipient of it.”

What a powerful statement. Is it possible, that the results we are hoping for by putting our foot down, and demanding change before we offer grace, are the exact results we could obtain if we offer grace instead of demanding change. What if grace is actually the catalyst for change?

I would love to hear your stories! I know you all have some!! How has swallowing your pride and showing grace to others resulted in change in your life? Leave your story in the comments!!

Hurting But Hopeful

It has been almost three months since my last post. Heartfelt I am... but consistent I am not!! A whole lot has happened in the last three months. Very little of it has been anything good to talk about. Most of it has been hard...very hard. Some of it has completely wrecked me.

I have tried to make sense of my circumstances and they just don't make sense. I have tried to understand and rationalize, and I just can't. I have tried to find some sort of answer where there is no answer to be found. The only answer I can find right now, is that even through all of the pain, there is still hope.

There is an entire section in Romans 12 that talks about how we are to live as Christians in this world. There are a lot of instructions... love your neighbor, be fervent in serving the Lord, help those around you, hate what is evil and cling to what is good, just to name a few. But verse 12 speaks volumes to me right now in the place that I am walking in.

"rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer"

These three things are listed under this section in Romans about how to behave as a Christian. I understand being patient in tribulation and continuing steadfastly in prayer. Rejoicing in Hope is a little bit harder for me to comprehend.

Hope is a word that has eluded me for many years. When I hear people talk about Hope, I just can't grasp that concept very easily. I think mostly because of my personality. I need things to be laid out for me, in a clear, concise, explainable way. Hope is not a tangible thing, so it is much harder for me to accept.

Romans 8:24-25 helps me sort it out somewhat...  

"... hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance."

Me and my need for tangible, concrete, black and white stuff in life is just out of luck when it comes to HOPE! Hope is not tangible, concrete, or black and white... and if it were it wouldn't be hope, it would be something else. Then I came across Hebrews 6:19-20. 

"This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil, where the forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become High Priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek."

Jesus is my hope, an anchor of the soul, sure and steadfast... those words are pretty concrete, and tangible, and black and white... It is a hard and fast promise. Not a maybe... or an If I'm good enough... or lucky enough... but a sure and steadfast anchor of my hurting soul.

What exactly am I hoping for? Peace. Internal peace... That is it. Nothing more. I am not sure that my circumstances will change and no matter what I do, I certainly can't make them change... so my hope in Jesus isn't a hope that my circumstances will change. It is only a hope for my own inner peace.