Letting Go of Mom Guilt

 

Mom guilt. Every mom I know deals with it on some level or another. Here is a secret that I have recently discovered surrounding mom guilt... The more "mommy articles" that get fed to me through Facebook and other social media, the worse the mom guilt gets.

Did you know that every article you read online isn't always right? Wow, that is a shocker isn't it!! Even if it contains solid advice, it doesn't mean that what you are doing is wrong! Those posts with numbered lists are the worst ones in my opinion for fueling the mom guilt we already struggle enough to get past.

Today I read an article that was called "7 things your child should know how to do before they turn 13". Well now, that is an article worth reading since I have a 13 year old who will actually be 14 here in a couple of weeks. No friends... that was a trap! A judgement trap. As I read this article, my mind immediately started comparing my 13 year old to this online list. Some of the things he knows how to do and does, some of them he doesn't. That immediately made me start judging myself and thinking that I haven't taught him enough in life.

And then reality hit... who is to say what he needs to know by the time he is 13? I am pretty sure that is my job as his mom and not the job of some random person out in cyberspace to tell me how much my child is lacking. He knows a lot and he can fend for himself when necessary. He can do his own laundry and cook basic meals. He may not mow the lawn or do major projects around the house, but he is 13! He isn't the adult in the house. He has chores and he has responsibilities. He is a well rounded kid.

We don't have to buy into this type of mom guilt! There are plenty of legitimate reasons to question ourselves as moms, we don't need an internet article to make us question even more!!

So, next time you see an article titled, "10 things your toddler should master before their 3rd birthday" do yourself a favor and just skip reading it!! I mean, we all know that our babies grow and learn at exactly the same pace, right? We did know that didn't we? Oh wait... no... our babies are human beings! They are each unique and no two babies are exactly alike! They don't grow teeth at the same pace or eat new foods at the same pace. They don't learn to use the potty at the same time (ask me about this week's potty training story if you want to know what we are currently facing in our home... you will laugh... I didn't, but you will!!) or learn to speak at the same pace. They are their own unique person and that is MORE THAN OK!! Celebrate your babies for who God made them to be!! Love them for who they are!!

When you are finished loving on them, love yourself too for the fantastic mom that you are!! From one mom to another... You are loved, you are beautiful, and you are an absolutely AMAZING mom to your babies!! You feed them, you clothe them, you love them, you educate them... you my friend are ROCKING this mom thing!!

Like Birthing a Baby

I have been sick this week with a sinus infection/cold. I realized as I was sitting in the doctors office waiting to see the doctor, that I had not been to my primary care doctor in over a year. The outcome was the same both visits, diagnosis of a sinus infection/cold and a prescription for a z pack to help clear it all up.

While both visits to my primary care doctor seemed in their charts to be similar or even identical, they were very different experiences for me. The reason I made the appointment over a year ago, was because I felt miserable. I was convinced that I had the flu. I was sick, yes, but I was so drained and tired. I had no energy, and my symptoms felt way worse than a common cold. I felt like I had been run over by a mack truck!! I ended up home from work for an entire week just for a sinus infection.

I left puzzled that all it was was a sinus infection. Grateful, but puzzled. Why did I feel so awful? What was causing the dramatic difference between how I felt and my reality?

After a week or so, I was feeling some better but still very tired. About two weeks after that, I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter! Not just newly pregnant, but 16 weeks pregnant!! Whoa!! After the shock of that wore off a little bit, I thought back to me being sick. I realized that I felt so much worse than I actually was, because of the pregnancy and I just didn't know it at the time.

Fast forward to this week's visit. I took one day off work to rest, but was back at work this morning. A coworker asked me how I was feeling... then she asked me if I was pregnant again!! I answered that with a big fat NO!!

This all got me thinking. Life is a lot like this sometimes. We have some issue in our life, some circumstance, some problem to solve and it seems so hard. It is the elephant in the room. It makes us so tired and worn out. It makes us feel so bad and we think that it is the worst thing that we have ever faced. What we don't realize, is that there is something else inside of us that is contributing to the weight of the problem. There is way more to it that what you see on the surface.

I am not very far into this journey to freedom. I have a long way to go. But I feel like Jesus is showing me this week, that finding freedom from what is holding you back and weighing you down, is similar to birthing a baby. Reaching down deep into the inner, most deepest holes in your soul, and pulling out whatever is in there. Once it is out, in the light, no longer suppressed, then life will begin to get easier. Everyday circumstances won't seem like World War III anymore.

Birthing a baby is process. 9 months of pregnancy and varying degrees of time and difficulty for the delivery of every baby born. Everyone is different and everyone's story and process will be different. It won't be quick and it won't be easy, but I am convinced that it will be worth it!! Once the process is through, then when life throws a sinus infection your way, it will feel more like a regular sinus infection, and less like the flu.