The Giving End of Grace

Grace is one of the greatest gifts a person can receive whether that grace comes from God or from another human being. The idea of grace is appealing to all of us and it should be! No matter how close we are to the Lord, we are all imperfect humans who occasionally mess up. Some of us mess up more often than others, but none of us are perfect. That is where grace and forgiveness come into the picture.

We love the idea of grace and forgiveness when we are on the receiving end, but how do we feel about it when we are the one who needs to extend it to someone else. When it is our turn to forgive and extend grace to another, how excited do we get? For some people maybe it depends… on the circumstances, on the level of offense, on the hurt you feel, or on any other number of factors.

How often do we determine our willingness to extend grace based on “how bad” the offense was of the person we need to extend grace to? I would venture to say, at least initially, that it factors into our thought process nearly every time we are faced with the decision. That is our human nature I suppose. We somehow think that in order to extend grace the other person has to earn it, or show remorse, or change. But that isn’t what grace is at all.

Grace according to the dictionary is an unmerited, undeserved, act of kindness, courtesy, or clemency. Clemency gets into the legal realm… the only people who request clemency are people who have been found guilty and sentenced. Prisoners on death row are sometimes granted clemency by the Governor and spared their life. Ya’ll… this grace thing isn’t for perfect people; it is for imperfect, guilty people.

Grace and forgiveness are a blessing to the receiver, but it is also freedom for the giver! Extending grace does not mean excusing behavior. It doesn’t mean that you continue to put yourself in a position where someone can continue to hurt you. It doesn’t mean that you don’t expect better in the future. But what it does do is it removes the weight and burden from the giver. What the receiver of grace does isn’t the issue… what giving grace does for the giver is.

Let’s get really honest for a minute though. Most of us don’t hesitate to extend grace because we want to be bitter or hold onto the past. Most of us just want a better tomorrow. We want things to be different. We want things to change. We want the other person to learn and grown and be different in the future. We think that we need to see the change before we can give the grace. That is nice when that can happen, but in all honesty, that probably won’t be your reality.

I read an article online today where the writer said, “Shame didn’t teach me. Grace did. And I didn’t learn grace by hearing about it, but by being the recipient of it.”

What a powerful statement. Is it possible, that the results we are hoping for by putting our foot down, and demanding change before we offer grace, are the exact results we could obtain if we offer grace instead of demanding change. What if grace is actually the catalyst for change?

I would love to hear your stories! I know you all have some!! How has swallowing your pride and showing grace to others resulted in change in your life? Leave your story in the comments!!